Wow. One semester has come and gone and I am now half way done with my task force experience.
This semester definitely posed a lot of challenges for me and getting through them wasn't always easy. But I am here. I am alive. And I am ready.
I am ready to take on whatever this next semester holds. I am ready to learn so much more about God, me, and others around me. I am ready for one more semester to make an impact on people's lives, who I may never see again.
I didn't always think I'd be ready, but I have found myself at a place where it doesn't matter who supports me, it doesn't matter what goes right and what goes wrong, it doesn't matter what happens.
What does matter is what I have learned about my relationship with God, about myself, and about others.
I am about to embark on the last half of my God written adventure. What's around the corner is a mystery, but I know whatever it is, it will change me forever.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Through: Total Reliance On God
God is teaching me to rely 100% on Him. Sometimes I just don't like the methods He uses.
Homesickness is starting to set in. What do I want? A shoulder to cry on, a friend by my side to tell me everything is alright, but mostly a hug. These are the things that I don't have here and these are the things that I realize I have relied so much on in my life. Instead of bringing every problem to God, I bring it to someone else, instead of crying in His arms, I cry to my friends, and instead of seeking a hug from Him, I run to the nearest person I can find.
My friends who have task forced in the past always told me it was going to become lonley but I never fully believed them because it wasn't like they were in another country with limited communication. I feel it now, and I understand completely. There is something about being so close but so far from the ones who support you and love you the most that just make it that much harder. If I really wanted to I could take every weekend off to go visit my family and friends and get the comfort that I "need", but I believe that God is building my character and teaching me how to rely souly on Him.
God is definitely working on my heart and as afraid of it as I maybe, I know it will making me stronger and bring me closer to Him. I am interested to see where this takes me.
Homesickness is starting to set in. What do I want? A shoulder to cry on, a friend by my side to tell me everything is alright, but mostly a hug. These are the things that I don't have here and these are the things that I realize I have relied so much on in my life. Instead of bringing every problem to God, I bring it to someone else, instead of crying in His arms, I cry to my friends, and instead of seeking a hug from Him, I run to the nearest person I can find.
My friends who have task forced in the past always told me it was going to become lonley but I never fully believed them because it wasn't like they were in another country with limited communication. I feel it now, and I understand completely. There is something about being so close but so far from the ones who support you and love you the most that just make it that much harder. If I really wanted to I could take every weekend off to go visit my family and friends and get the comfort that I "need", but I believe that God is building my character and teaching me how to rely souly on Him.
God is definitely working on my heart and as afraid of it as I maybe, I know it will making me stronger and bring me closer to Him. I am interested to see where this takes me.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
The Life of a Task Force Dean
Monday: Trash can lit on fire
Tuesday: Get asked to dinner and ice-cream
Thursday: Find out my international student is trying to leave the school... without telling the school (Not legal)
Took my first trip to Urgent Care with one of my dorm girls
Friday: All of my girls left for the long weekend and I went to Vespers
Sabbath: Volunteered at the Samaritan Center and learned what Tim Tam Slam is
Sunday: Swimming, basketball, and Guitar Hero
Just a brief update of what has been going on in my life in California.
Tuesday: Get asked to dinner and ice-cream
Thursday: Find out my international student is trying to leave the school... without telling the school (Not legal)
Took my first trip to Urgent Care with one of my dorm girls
Friday: All of my girls left for the long weekend and I went to Vespers
Sabbath: Volunteered at the Samaritan Center and learned what Tim Tam Slam is
Sunday: Swimming, basketball, and Guitar Hero
Just a brief update of what has been going on in my life in California.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Through: The Simple Things
I guess you really don't know what you've got until it's gone. It is such an over used phrase, but it is so true. For some reason Sabbath's in California remind of that.
California has definitely been an experience so far. I have met a lot of amazing people and am having a great time being a dean, coach, teacher, and everything else! It keeps me really busy most of the time, except the weekend. Now, many of you would think, "That's awesome, you have no studying or anything so you can do what you want." Well you are wrong.
I am a full time dean with one week-end off a month. This means my weekends are spent with the girls in the dorm, which does not give me freedom to go places. Now it may sound like I am complaining, but I am not. I love spending time with my girls and getting to know them. But on Sabbaths, the school doesn't plan anything so there really isn't much to do. These are the days when I miss home the most.
I live for Skype dates and phone calls. If I get none, then I spend my time on facebook, wishing I could be with my friends doing something awesome and not missing out on their lives. I have to constantly remind myself that what I am doing is awesome, because I was called by God to do it. But that doesn't always cure the lonliness.
I like to think I am a pretty positive person. I seem to be able to find something good in everything. But when Sabbath's role around that is really hard. California is a very liberal state (religiously) and I hate that most of the people's idea of Sabbath is sports on Friday night and a trip to the mall on Saturday. Also, like I said before, all I want is a hug. A real hug from someone who isn't just hugging me because I look sad, but because they love me and can tell I needed it without me saying anything. Those are the simple things that I miss the most.
But my girls are awesome! I am really starting to bond with a few of them, especially one girl, her name is Vivian. She is on my volleyball team and everytime we see each other we say, "Hey, girl heyyyyy" It's the simple things.
And then there is Van. She is so sweet. She is an international student from Viet Nam, who always has a smile on her face. It's the simple things.
Also, I am having a blast coaching volleyball. My co-coach is so much fun and loves to tease me about... well anything and everything. He keeps me laughing. It's the simple things.
It really is the simple things in life that keep me going day to day. So please do one simple, but powerful thing for me and just send up a prayer! And remember it's the simple things that can pull you through life. Recognize those on your worst days and they won't seem so bad any more.
California has definitely been an experience so far. I have met a lot of amazing people and am having a great time being a dean, coach, teacher, and everything else! It keeps me really busy most of the time, except the weekend. Now, many of you would think, "That's awesome, you have no studying or anything so you can do what you want." Well you are wrong.
I am a full time dean with one week-end off a month. This means my weekends are spent with the girls in the dorm, which does not give me freedom to go places. Now it may sound like I am complaining, but I am not. I love spending time with my girls and getting to know them. But on Sabbaths, the school doesn't plan anything so there really isn't much to do. These are the days when I miss home the most.
I live for Skype dates and phone calls. If I get none, then I spend my time on facebook, wishing I could be with my friends doing something awesome and not missing out on their lives. I have to constantly remind myself that what I am doing is awesome, because I was called by God to do it. But that doesn't always cure the lonliness.
I like to think I am a pretty positive person. I seem to be able to find something good in everything. But when Sabbath's role around that is really hard. California is a very liberal state (religiously) and I hate that most of the people's idea of Sabbath is sports on Friday night and a trip to the mall on Saturday. Also, like I said before, all I want is a hug. A real hug from someone who isn't just hugging me because I look sad, but because they love me and can tell I needed it without me saying anything. Those are the simple things that I miss the most.
But my girls are awesome! I am really starting to bond with a few of them, especially one girl, her name is Vivian. She is on my volleyball team and everytime we see each other we say, "Hey, girl heyyyyy" It's the simple things.
And then there is Van. She is so sweet. She is an international student from Viet Nam, who always has a smile on her face. It's the simple things.
Also, I am having a blast coaching volleyball. My co-coach is so much fun and loves to tease me about... well anything and everything. He keeps me laughing. It's the simple things.
It really is the simple things in life that keep me going day to day. So please do one simple, but powerful thing for me and just send up a prayer! And remember it's the simple things that can pull you through life. Recognize those on your worst days and they won't seem so bad any more.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Through: Hugs
Today I needed a hug.
My first run in with homesickness.
It has only been three weeks and I am already feeling like I am missing out on so much back home. All my friends are starting to go back to school and my nephew and niece are growing up with out me.
Today was a great Sabbath. We took our 7-day dorm students (mine are all international students from Viet Nam) to a special Sabbath school that a family (the Papayanis') does for the international students that is an intro to God's love because many of them don't know God at all. We just played some get-to-know-you games and had breakfast.
Then we went to church at The Place. This is the local church that is full of young families, so it is very contemporary. They always have an awesome song service and the pastor is full of energy.
Then we all went to the Papayanis house for Sabbath lunch and games. As we were playing games, I was having a great time until it hit me. I suddenly felt alone. I didn't know any of these people and they don't really know me. All I wanted was a hug and to be told that everything was going to be alright and I couldn't get that from anyone.
Sometimes I really wonder what I am doing out here and how I am going to make it a whole school year so far away from everything I know. I have to constantly remind myself that God is a God of Adventure, and He has got my back through this all. Often trusting His plan is so hard because of all of the unknowns, but I know in the end I will look back and see all the places He held me and pulled me through.
My first run in with homesickness.
It has only been three weeks and I am already feeling like I am missing out on so much back home. All my friends are starting to go back to school and my nephew and niece are growing up with out me.
Today was a great Sabbath. We took our 7-day dorm students (mine are all international students from Viet Nam) to a special Sabbath school that a family (the Papayanis') does for the international students that is an intro to God's love because many of them don't know God at all. We just played some get-to-know-you games and had breakfast.
Then we went to church at The Place. This is the local church that is full of young families, so it is very contemporary. They always have an awesome song service and the pastor is full of energy.
Then we all went to the Papayanis house for Sabbath lunch and games. As we were playing games, I was having a great time until it hit me. I suddenly felt alone. I didn't know any of these people and they don't really know me. All I wanted was a hug and to be told that everything was going to be alright and I couldn't get that from anyone.
Sometimes I really wonder what I am doing out here and how I am going to make it a whole school year so far away from everything I know. I have to constantly remind myself that God is a God of Adventure, and He has got my back through this all. Often trusting His plan is so hard because of all of the unknowns, but I know in the end I will look back and see all the places He held me and pulled me through.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Here Goes... Everything
Russell Crowe couldn't have said it better, "Terrified... mortified... petrified... stupefied... by you."
I am completely and utterly terrified.
My adventure starts tomorrow. I am getting on a plane and moving to California for a full school year.
I never thought leaving home would be this hard, especially since I have worked at camp out of state three times. Two months seems like nothing compared to the ten I will be spending in California. For months I have been awaiting this move, but now that it is here I would rather lock myself in my room and never come out.
God has called me to Task Force this year and for the first time I am really stopping and questioning why. Why do I have to leave everything I have ever known? Why do I have to leave yet another comfort zone? Why now? Why there? Why that?
All I know is I can keep asking why or just say yes and follow God's plan for my life. So here it is. No more questions. Here goes... Everything!
*Prayers are appreciated*
I am completely and utterly terrified.
My adventure starts tomorrow. I am getting on a plane and moving to California for a full school year.
I never thought leaving home would be this hard, especially since I have worked at camp out of state three times. Two months seems like nothing compared to the ten I will be spending in California. For months I have been awaiting this move, but now that it is here I would rather lock myself in my room and never come out.
God has called me to Task Force this year and for the first time I am really stopping and questioning why. Why do I have to leave everything I have ever known? Why do I have to leave yet another comfort zone? Why now? Why there? Why that?
All I know is I can keep asking why or just say yes and follow God's plan for my life. So here it is. No more questions. Here goes... Everything!
*Prayers are appreciated*
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Though: Support
I love camp. I truly believe it is the happiest place on earth. Lives are changed here. I was that camper that lived for camp. It was my spiritual get away, my escape from a home that didn't understand my need for God, to a place that couldn't help but engulf me in God's love. How could I not give back to camp? Indian Creek has been an amazing camp to work at. The people love Jesus and are so dedicated to their job.
I have become close with Ed and Marty. I always tell them they remind me of my dad, although that is only half true. They love sports, water skiing, and tell jokes like my dad would, but they have given me something my dad never seemed to want to give me: Jesus. They have shown me what truly God fearing men look like. I look at them and think; Why couldn't God have given me that in my life? Why did/do I have to fend for myself in the spiritual aspect of my life? I am so happy to have them in my life and to have found a new family to support my spiritual journey.
I have become close with Ed and Marty. I always tell them they remind me of my dad, although that is only half true. They love sports, water skiing, and tell jokes like my dad would, but they have given me something my dad never seemed to want to give me: Jesus. They have shown me what truly God fearing men look like. I look at them and think; Why couldn't God have given me that in my life? Why did/do I have to fend for myself in the spiritual aspect of my life? I am so happy to have them in my life and to have found a new family to support my spiritual journey.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Though: Rainbows
God Sent Me A Rainbow
I spent the day with tired eyes and a heavy heart. I knew this day was going to land on the Costa Rica trip, but I also knew that there was no way I could plan for how I would handle it. One year ago today my grandpa died and believe me, six hours on a bus is definitely enough time to think about it.
Before getting on the bus to begin our long journey our group stopped at a waterfall for some swimming and photography. The walk down seemed to take hours, the steps were so steep that is felt like you could fall down them all with just one wrong step. There were a couple look out points on the path so youc ould see the waterfall and get a taste of the prize below.
Once I finally reached the bottom I sat on the bench with a sigh of relief. But what was waiting for me around the corner was my real prize, a gift from God. As I walked towards the waterfall I saw it. As the waterfall crashed in the water below, a mist belew off to the side and from that mist a rainbow was formed.
Now to the rest of our group, I am sure it was an exciting and beautiful thing, but to me it was an answer to prayer.
My grandpat used to always tell my sister and I that his favorite color was "all of the colors of the rainbow." So before we even left for Central America, I asked God to send me a rainbow on this day. It was just His wonderful and amazing way of saying "I care about the small stuff Courtney, it will all be okay."
I spent the day with tired eyes and a heavy heart. I knew this day was going to land on the Costa Rica trip, but I also knew that there was no way I could plan for how I would handle it. One year ago today my grandpa died and believe me, six hours on a bus is definitely enough time to think about it.
Before getting on the bus to begin our long journey our group stopped at a waterfall for some swimming and photography. The walk down seemed to take hours, the steps were so steep that is felt like you could fall down them all with just one wrong step. There were a couple look out points on the path so youc ould see the waterfall and get a taste of the prize below.
Once I finally reached the bottom I sat on the bench with a sigh of relief. But what was waiting for me around the corner was my real prize, a gift from God. As I walked towards the waterfall I saw it. As the waterfall crashed in the water below, a mist belew off to the side and from that mist a rainbow was formed.
Now to the rest of our group, I am sure it was an exciting and beautiful thing, but to me it was an answer to prayer.
My grandpat used to always tell my sister and I that his favorite color was "all of the colors of the rainbow." So before we even left for Central America, I asked God to send me a rainbow on this day. It was just His wonderful and amazing way of saying "I care about the small stuff Courtney, it will all be okay."
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Love Is Something Live Though: Adventures
I have never been so excited for an ENTIRE YEAR of my life. Usually, I try to focus on each day or a single week and live it to the fullest, but starting in 3 days God is taking me on the biggest adventure of my life.
I leave for Central America on Tuesday. I have never left the country and now I am spending three weeks in three different countries. I do not know what to expect with the culture or how school will work when all I want to do is spend time at the beach, but I know that I am going to grow and experience so many new things.
Next stop: Camp. Just one week after returning from Central America I will be off to Tennessee to work at a summer camp where I know three of the 60 staff members. God has worked in some mysterious ways to let me know that I need to work at this camp so I am excited for what He has in store for me when I get there.
Last stop: California. I still can't believe that I am spending a whole school year in California. (For those of you who don't know, I will be an Assistant Dean, Volleyball/Basketball Coach, Outreach Coordinator, Subbing Classes, and occasionally working in the Elementary School at an academy) As I talked about earlier, I KNOW God has called me to Task Force next year and I have never been more excited to take the second chance He is giving me at it and roll with it.
We serve a God of not only love, grace, patience, kindness, and strength, but a God of ADVENTURE! A God who wants us to live our life to the fullest and use every opportunity He gives us. This year, I am taking those opportunities and making the most of them, and I pray that you will too. Don't let a day go bye that you pass up the adventure God has waiting for you!
I leave for Central America on Tuesday. I have never left the country and now I am spending three weeks in three different countries. I do not know what to expect with the culture or how school will work when all I want to do is spend time at the beach, but I know that I am going to grow and experience so many new things.
Next stop: Camp. Just one week after returning from Central America I will be off to Tennessee to work at a summer camp where I know three of the 60 staff members. God has worked in some mysterious ways to let me know that I need to work at this camp so I am excited for what He has in store for me when I get there.
Last stop: California. I still can't believe that I am spending a whole school year in California. (For those of you who don't know, I will be an Assistant Dean, Volleyball/Basketball Coach, Outreach Coordinator, Subbing Classes, and occasionally working in the Elementary School at an academy) As I talked about earlier, I KNOW God has called me to Task Force next year and I have never been more excited to take the second chance He is giving me at it and roll with it.
We serve a God of not only love, grace, patience, kindness, and strength, but a God of ADVENTURE! A God who wants us to live our life to the fullest and use every opportunity He gives us. This year, I am taking those opportunities and making the most of them, and I pray that you will too. Don't let a day go bye that you pass up the adventure God has waiting for you!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Through: The Ultimate Love Banquet
On Sunday, April 3, 2011 I hosted a banquet. This wasn't your typical high school or college banquet, but a banquet for the homeless.
On Friday it all hit me. I was in Campus Ministries going through all of the formal wear that had been donated by students. I finally realized all that I had to do to actually pull off this banquet. Friday went by so fast and I didn't get everything done that I needed to but was very ready to embrace the Sabbath after a rough week of school.
Saturday night rolled around and I decided to drag my friends along with me to WalMart to pick up all the things I needed, and thank goodness I did! I realized my list of things that I needed was nowhere near what it needed to be. I would have forgotten half of the food had I not broughten everyone with me. After this I began to panic. What else had I forgotten?!
Sunday morning came around and sleep was barely an option. I set my alarm and woke up before it went off. Since I couldn't fall back asleep I started my day in complete fear that I was going to forget everything. As I ran around from place to place, I was in constant prayer asking God to make sure I don't forget anything and that everything would work out smoothly. My mom and friends helped me so much by running around and picking up all the things I forgot, because believe me I did forget some stuff.
Decorating started early and we got done quick, which was perfect so I could run around town and drop off dresses, and hair and make-up stuff to the People's City Mission.
3:30 hit and the fun began. Getting the right size dress was difficult but we got everyone's hair and make-up complete and then ran people around town who we didn't have dresses for. This was the MOST stressful part of my day. I learned how truly greatful some people can be and how so ungreatful and inconciderate others can be.
I ran one lady all the way around town, litterly. And she was so ungreatful even to the point of saying to her friend on the phone, "I am supposed to be feeling like royalty but I can't find a dress in my size so I feel even worse than before." What a blow. I almost broke down. I tried so hard to help her and all I got was complaints, so I just took a deep breath and waited it out. Well, she finally found somoething to wear and we got to the banquet...... AN HOUR LATE. I was beyond frustrated. Thankfully, this was the only rough patch that we had.
Everyone who was there had a great time and really loved all the entertainment. I was told after everyone left that one lady came up to one of our volunteers, almost in tears, and said, "I have never seen my husband in a tie before" That statement alone made my entire night worth it.
On Friday it all hit me. I was in Campus Ministries going through all of the formal wear that had been donated by students. I finally realized all that I had to do to actually pull off this banquet. Friday went by so fast and I didn't get everything done that I needed to but was very ready to embrace the Sabbath after a rough week of school.
Saturday night rolled around and I decided to drag my friends along with me to WalMart to pick up all the things I needed, and thank goodness I did! I realized my list of things that I needed was nowhere near what it needed to be. I would have forgotten half of the food had I not broughten everyone with me. After this I began to panic. What else had I forgotten?!
Sunday morning came around and sleep was barely an option. I set my alarm and woke up before it went off. Since I couldn't fall back asleep I started my day in complete fear that I was going to forget everything. As I ran around from place to place, I was in constant prayer asking God to make sure I don't forget anything and that everything would work out smoothly. My mom and friends helped me so much by running around and picking up all the things I forgot, because believe me I did forget some stuff.
Decorating started early and we got done quick, which was perfect so I could run around town and drop off dresses, and hair and make-up stuff to the People's City Mission.
3:30 hit and the fun began. Getting the right size dress was difficult but we got everyone's hair and make-up complete and then ran people around town who we didn't have dresses for. This was the MOST stressful part of my day. I learned how truly greatful some people can be and how so ungreatful and inconciderate others can be.
I ran one lady all the way around town, litterly. And she was so ungreatful even to the point of saying to her friend on the phone, "I am supposed to be feeling like royalty but I can't find a dress in my size so I feel even worse than before." What a blow. I almost broke down. I tried so hard to help her and all I got was complaints, so I just took a deep breath and waited it out. Well, she finally found somoething to wear and we got to the banquet...... AN HOUR LATE. I was beyond frustrated. Thankfully, this was the only rough patch that we had.
Everyone who was there had a great time and really loved all the entertainment. I was told after everyone left that one lady came up to one of our volunteers, almost in tears, and said, "I have never seen my husband in a tie before" That statement alone made my entire night worth it.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Love is Something Lived: Through Compliments
The other day my friends and I were discussing plastic surgery. We talked about if we would ever get any and if so what would it be. It was not just girls, in fact it was mostly guys. Everyone was going around saying what they would change and then one of them turned to me and said, "What would you have done?" I thought about it only for a moment and said, "Nothing." They responded with, "Oh Courtney's just sitting over here thinking she is perfect." or something to that effect. So I turned and said, "is it so wrong for a girl to be comfortable with the way she is?"
Now I know my friend didn't mean anything bad or mean by what they had said, but it made me realize what kind of a world we live in. What kind of world is this that it's strange to find a girl who comfortable with who she is and how she looks. That is not how it is supposed to be.
God's intention for us all was never to feel uncomfortable in our own skin. Genesis 1:26-27 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness...” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Never let a day go by that you don't encourage one another. We are supposed to be here to show others God and uplift those around us. So love everyone around you with everything you have and tell them (girl or guy) how beautiful they truly are, inside and out. Let's just try to make this world a better place, one compliment at a time.
Now I know my friend didn't mean anything bad or mean by what they had said, but it made me realize what kind of a world we live in. What kind of world is this that it's strange to find a girl who comfortable with who she is and how she looks. That is not how it is supposed to be.
God's intention for us all was never to feel uncomfortable in our own skin. Genesis 1:26-27 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness...” So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.
Never let a day go by that you don't encourage one another. We are supposed to be here to show others God and uplift those around us. So love everyone around you with everything you have and tell them (girl or guy) how beautiful they truly are, inside and out. Let's just try to make this world a better place, one compliment at a time.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Through: Second Chances
There have been so many doors that God has opened for me to follow Him and grow closer to Him. But often it seems that I just slam those doors in His face. Sometimes I don't realize that is what I am doing, but other times I do it out of my own selfish wants or fears.
This happened to me last year. My cousin called me up and wanted me to Task Force out at his school in California. I got really excited about it for a while, prayed about it, felt God calling me there, and then it hit me. I would have to go far away from my family, boyfriend at the time, friends, and any comfort zone I had ever built up. So I copped out, telling my cousin that I didn't feel God was leading me there.
I told a lie. A major lie. God wanted me there and I knew it, He had opened so many doors and given me so many signs telling me He wanted me to go and Task Force.
Now I look at my decision and wish I had made a different one. I wish I had gone and experienced the adventure that God had planned specifically for me that year, but I didn't and I just lived out another school year.
Don't get me wrong, God has used me in more ways that I could have ever imagined here at Union this year and I am so thankful for that. I am thankful that He didn't punish me for my disobedience and that He is giving me a second chance at Task Forcing next school year. God's nature is not punishment and revenge but of love and forgiveness.
I am so excited to see how God is going to use me not only at Task Forcing but at camp this summer too. Surrendering everything over to Him is something that I struggle with daily but I know that if I fall God is a God of second, third, fourth, and fifth chances! He will never give up on me.
Isaiah 5:21 "Woe to those who are wise in their own opinion and cleaver in their own sight."
We need to ask God for understanding in our lives daily, because He knows what is best for us. We have no wisdom worth while if it does not come from God.
So my prayer for all my friends and family tonight is that God will give you guidance in your life and that you will trust in His plan.
If God can give us second, third, fourth, and even fifth chances, why can't we do that for each other?
This happened to me last year. My cousin called me up and wanted me to Task Force out at his school in California. I got really excited about it for a while, prayed about it, felt God calling me there, and then it hit me. I would have to go far away from my family, boyfriend at the time, friends, and any comfort zone I had ever built up. So I copped out, telling my cousin that I didn't feel God was leading me there.
I told a lie. A major lie. God wanted me there and I knew it, He had opened so many doors and given me so many signs telling me He wanted me to go and Task Force.
Now I look at my decision and wish I had made a different one. I wish I had gone and experienced the adventure that God had planned specifically for me that year, but I didn't and I just lived out another school year.
Don't get me wrong, God has used me in more ways that I could have ever imagined here at Union this year and I am so thankful for that. I am thankful that He didn't punish me for my disobedience and that He is giving me a second chance at Task Forcing next school year. God's nature is not punishment and revenge but of love and forgiveness.
I am so excited to see how God is going to use me not only at Task Forcing but at camp this summer too. Surrendering everything over to Him is something that I struggle with daily but I know that if I fall God is a God of second, third, fourth, and fifth chances! He will never give up on me.
Isaiah 5:21 "Woe to those who are wise in their own opinion and cleaver in their own sight."
We need to ask God for understanding in our lives daily, because He knows what is best for us. We have no wisdom worth while if it does not come from God.
So my prayer for all my friends and family tonight is that God will give you guidance in your life and that you will trust in His plan.
If God can give us second, third, fourth, and even fifth chances, why can't we do that for each other?
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Through: Inspiration
Want to be inspired? Read some of Josh's blog! It is an amazing story of finding God in the midst of a mess!
http://findingfreedomin90days.blogspot.com/
http://findingfreedomin90days.blogspot.com/
Monday, January 3, 2011
Love Is Something Lived Through: Taking A Stand
It has been a struggle. It hurts.
I can't make my family proud.
I have made decisions in my life based on what I believe is best for me. Things like not to drink, where to go to school, and where and when to worship God. The deeper I get into these the more I find that my family does not support me.
I turned 21. The "normal" college thing to do would to be to go out to the bars and do one of two things: Buy a couple drinks and socialize with friends or get completely wasted, puke every where, and wake up with a massive headache. Will I see no point in either of these, in face I believe all alcohol does is makes you fat and wastes your money so why buy it? My family is and has been fully aware of me not wanting to drink, but every time the opportunity arises they try to pressure me into drinking. My mom even pretty much told me that I was weird because I didn't want to. My sister tries to pressure me into it almost every time we are together. Why can they not just see that I have made a decision to step out of the norm and be proud of it?
Then the worst thing happened. They slammed my beliefs about God, the fact that I go to an Adventist church and associate myself with Adventists. (My parents don't go to church or anything like that, in fact I couldn't really tell you of a time that they ever sat down and even talked to me about God.) I couldn't believe it. They even said, Adventism is made up of lies. I was so saddened by this, all I did was go to my room and cry. I know that they have had issues with the church and some people in it but to make a statement like that. I have taken a stand in my belifes, why is that not something to be looked up to?
Where do you turn when the place you have found support in life mocks your your values and beliefs?
Then I am reminded of a Bible verse, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." 1 Peter 5:10
We all suffer in many ways and right now this is what I am dealing with, but this verse reminds me of God's pride in me and his never ending love. I will never find full accptance, unconditional love, or never ending strength on this earth, but when I bring it to God, He will always be there to pick me up, brush me off, and tell me he is proud of me.
I can't make my family proud.
I have made decisions in my life based on what I believe is best for me. Things like not to drink, where to go to school, and where and when to worship God. The deeper I get into these the more I find that my family does not support me.
I turned 21. The "normal" college thing to do would to be to go out to the bars and do one of two things: Buy a couple drinks and socialize with friends or get completely wasted, puke every where, and wake up with a massive headache. Will I see no point in either of these, in face I believe all alcohol does is makes you fat and wastes your money so why buy it? My family is and has been fully aware of me not wanting to drink, but every time the opportunity arises they try to pressure me into drinking. My mom even pretty much told me that I was weird because I didn't want to. My sister tries to pressure me into it almost every time we are together. Why can they not just see that I have made a decision to step out of the norm and be proud of it?
Then the worst thing happened. They slammed my beliefs about God, the fact that I go to an Adventist church and associate myself with Adventists. (My parents don't go to church or anything like that, in fact I couldn't really tell you of a time that they ever sat down and even talked to me about God.) I couldn't believe it. They even said, Adventism is made up of lies. I was so saddened by this, all I did was go to my room and cry. I know that they have had issues with the church and some people in it but to make a statement like that. I have taken a stand in my belifes, why is that not something to be looked up to?
Where do you turn when the place you have found support in life mocks your your values and beliefs?
Then I am reminded of a Bible verse, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." 1 Peter 5:10
We all suffer in many ways and right now this is what I am dealing with, but this verse reminds me of God's pride in me and his never ending love. I will never find full accptance, unconditional love, or never ending strength on this earth, but when I bring it to God, He will always be there to pick me up, brush me off, and tell me he is proud of me.
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