God is teaching me to rely 100% on Him. Sometimes I just don't like the methods He uses.
Homesickness is starting to set in. What do I want? A shoulder to cry on, a friend by my side to tell me everything is alright, but mostly a hug. These are the things that I don't have here and these are the things that I realize I have relied so much on in my life. Instead of bringing every problem to God, I bring it to someone else, instead of crying in His arms, I cry to my friends, and instead of seeking a hug from Him, I run to the nearest person I can find.
My friends who have task forced in the past always told me it was going to become lonley but I never fully believed them because it wasn't like they were in another country with limited communication. I feel it now, and I understand completely. There is something about being so close but so far from the ones who support you and love you the most that just make it that much harder. If I really wanted to I could take every weekend off to go visit my family and friends and get the comfort that I "need", but I believe that God is building my character and teaching me how to rely souly on Him.
God is definitely working on my heart and as afraid of it as I maybe, I know it will making me stronger and bring me closer to Him. I am interested to see where this takes me.
I love you.
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