So I have a friend who is speaking at NPAA for Week of Prayer and he asked me to write a letter to my students and explain what is on my heart for them this year. Here is what I wrote them:
Heelllllllllllooooo to all my Gators!
There is so much I want to say to you all but so little time :(
First off I would like to let you know that I miss and love you all SO SO SO much.
The reason that this silly looking guy is standing in front of you right now is actually my fault. It is not fair that Shane Wallace Anderson (he loves his full name and if I you could see me I would have just rolled my eyes) gets to be in California while I am in corn country but that's life and we'll just make do... I worked at summer camp with him and suggested that Pastor Rossi bring him out to speak for your Week of Prayer. Now, obviously I wouldn't have had Pastor Rossi bring him all the way to California just so you can stare at him, but the real reason is that Shane is someone who loves Jesus with all he has and wants others to be madly and deeply in love with Christ as well. The effect on my spiritual life that Shane had this summer made me want to share him and the way God uses him with you. My prayer is that through him you will all gain a better understanding of God's furious love for you and grow closer to Him.
I must say that I have many hopes, dreams, and prayers for NPAA even though I am thousands of miles away (1,541 to be exact). I pray this school year is a year of commitment to God and growing in Him and His love. Take the time to really talk with God, read your Bible and ask questions about who He is and what He is doing in your lives and the lives of others. I also pray that this is a year for building each other up, supporting one another through the hard times, and celebrating all the joyous occasions that life brings. Your life is an adventure and your life has meaning. James 4:8 says, "Come near to God and He will come near to you..." Now that's a promise to hold on to!
Until we meet again;
Prayers, Love, and Hugs
Courtney
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Friday, September 28, 2012
Good food with a great friend
So recently me and one of my best friends Michael headed down 17th street to one of our favorite restaurants, The Greatful Bread. If you have never been, please go and check it out, you won't regret it.
As we sat and ate we started talking about our futures. He asked me where I thought I would end up teaching and if I still planned on going overseas to do The World Race. I told him about all the options I was debating but not really worrying too much about it because where I end up is ultimately God's decision. Then he proceeded to tell me about a book.
This book is entitled, The Irresistible Revolution. I had actually just heard about this book for the first time this summer, when some friend suggested I read it, but have yet to get my hands on a copy. Michael told me that the author, Shane Claiborne, says something like we should not bother planning our lives because God will "mess up" our plans with His, He does it a lot through out the Bible.
I really liked this a lot because that is how God has revealed Himself to me mostly over the last few years. Just teaching me to wait on Him and know that His plans are higher and better than mine.
I am so glad to be blessed such amazing friends and family in my life. They build me up, keep me going, and bring me back when I have lost my way. Thank you Lord for relationships and community, it really is a beautiful thing.
As we sat and ate we started talking about our futures. He asked me where I thought I would end up teaching and if I still planned on going overseas to do The World Race. I told him about all the options I was debating but not really worrying too much about it because where I end up is ultimately God's decision. Then he proceeded to tell me about a book.
This book is entitled, The Irresistible Revolution. I had actually just heard about this book for the first time this summer, when some friend suggested I read it, but have yet to get my hands on a copy. Michael told me that the author, Shane Claiborne, says something like we should not bother planning our lives because God will "mess up" our plans with His, He does it a lot through out the Bible.
I really liked this a lot because that is how God has revealed Himself to me mostly over the last few years. Just teaching me to wait on Him and know that His plans are higher and better than mine.
I am so glad to be blessed such amazing friends and family in my life. They build me up, keep me going, and bring me back when I have lost my way. Thank you Lord for relationships and community, it really is a beautiful thing.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
It's broken
Growing up I never had to worry about who my best friend was. There was never any question of who I would have a play date with, plan sleepovers, or get the privilege of setting a volleyball to. I never had to worry about it until we grew up.
Most of you wouldn't understand what it is like growing up with a twin. You go through the highest of highs and lowest of lows with someone by your side. It's something that I will never be able to fully explain, but I feel so blessed to have had this in my life. Recently, I have realized how much me and my sister have not only grown up, but also grown apart. The thought alone almost brings me to tears.
It seemed to have started after our senior year of high school. I went to work at summer camp and my sister stayed in Nebraska doing, honestly, I don't know what. But when I came back after that summer things had changed. We had changed. It was clear that we were picking two very different roads in life. I picked a school that grew me spiritually and mentally and God used it to point me in the right direction for my life. She chose our volleyball scholarship, only to later quit the team, have her school close down, pick a major she doesn't love and party hard which broke a connection between us that may never be repaired.
I will never forget that first Sabbath that I sat in the pew alone.
I will never forget the words, "if you haven't noticed, church really isn't my thing anymore."
My sister told me this after many weeks of me asking her to go to vespers with me. Talk about a knife in the back... To some people this doesn't seem like much but to me it was the most heart wrenching thing I had heard in a long time. My family doesn't go to church and never has. Growing up my grandparents always took my sister and I to church so in my house she was my support. She was by my side. I lost that but as time has gone on I have accepted it and just continue to pray for her.
We are even more distant now then ever before and now is when I need her the most. I have found out things from other people that she no longer chooses to tell me and it hurts. It makes me question what I am doing wrong and what I did that would bring her to this point. I don't know how it got this way but all that I can pray for is a repaired relationship. I just need her so badly right now.
Most of you wouldn't understand what it is like growing up with a twin. You go through the highest of highs and lowest of lows with someone by your side. It's something that I will never be able to fully explain, but I feel so blessed to have had this in my life. Recently, I have realized how much me and my sister have not only grown up, but also grown apart. The thought alone almost brings me to tears.
It seemed to have started after our senior year of high school. I went to work at summer camp and my sister stayed in Nebraska doing, honestly, I don't know what. But when I came back after that summer things had changed. We had changed. It was clear that we were picking two very different roads in life. I picked a school that grew me spiritually and mentally and God used it to point me in the right direction for my life. She chose our volleyball scholarship, only to later quit the team, have her school close down, pick a major she doesn't love and party hard which broke a connection between us that may never be repaired.
I will never forget that first Sabbath that I sat in the pew alone.
I will never forget the words, "if you haven't noticed, church really isn't my thing anymore."
My sister told me this after many weeks of me asking her to go to vespers with me. Talk about a knife in the back... To some people this doesn't seem like much but to me it was the most heart wrenching thing I had heard in a long time. My family doesn't go to church and never has. Growing up my grandparents always took my sister and I to church so in my house she was my support. She was by my side. I lost that but as time has gone on I have accepted it and just continue to pray for her.
We are even more distant now then ever before and now is when I need her the most. I have found out things from other people that she no longer chooses to tell me and it hurts. It makes me question what I am doing wrong and what I did that would bring her to this point. I don't know how it got this way but all that I can pray for is a repaired relationship. I just need her so badly right now.
Friday, September 14, 2012
The Struggles Make You Stonger
I am not who I was before I left to task force and honestly, I don't like it.
The thing is, I would say that task forcing grew me spiritually, mentally, and emotionally and I should be proud and ready to move on the next phase of life.
But I'm not.
Maybe it's just some weird funk I have been in lately or maybe I realize that growing up means getting older and leaving precious things behind. Either way, it's uncomfortable.
The things that I once found solace in and that made me feel normal, now seem to alienate me and put me in a strange mood.
I am lost, searching for this part of me that was there just over a year ago and now is nowhere to be found. I am looking for answers. I was told and I knew that following God's plan for my life for a year was going to change me, but why am I not okay with it now?
I thought I had come to terms with "different being a good thing", maybe I haven't. Or maybe I just don't like this constant change happening around me and the lack of consistency that seems ever present in my life. I have lived in three different states in the last 5 months building relationships, only to leave them behind; returning home to friends who moved off without a good bye; showing up to a school were I once knew everyone and now am surrounded by strangers.
It's a struggle but like Gary Allan once sang, "But the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time. No, life ain't always beautiful, the tears will fall sometimes. Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride."
I am just glad to say that I have some consistency no matter what happens, even when I don't feel it. I have a God who never changes. Who loves me when I don't love me (or Him). Who never breaks our relationship, leaves when I return, says goodbye or is a stranger to my life. Life is changing, I am changing. It's a struggle, but I have a promise to hold on to.
Hebrews 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
The thing is, I would say that task forcing grew me spiritually, mentally, and emotionally and I should be proud and ready to move on the next phase of life.
But I'm not.
Maybe it's just some weird funk I have been in lately or maybe I realize that growing up means getting older and leaving precious things behind. Either way, it's uncomfortable.
The things that I once found solace in and that made me feel normal, now seem to alienate me and put me in a strange mood.
I am lost, searching for this part of me that was there just over a year ago and now is nowhere to be found. I am looking for answers. I was told and I knew that following God's plan for my life for a year was going to change me, but why am I not okay with it now?
I thought I had come to terms with "different being a good thing", maybe I haven't. Or maybe I just don't like this constant change happening around me and the lack of consistency that seems ever present in my life. I have lived in three different states in the last 5 months building relationships, only to leave them behind; returning home to friends who moved off without a good bye; showing up to a school were I once knew everyone and now am surrounded by strangers.
It's a struggle but like Gary Allan once sang, "But the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise, and happiness has it's own way of taking it's sweet time. No, life ain't always beautiful, the tears will fall sometimes. Life ain't always beautiful, but it's a beautiful ride."
I am just glad to say that I have some consistency no matter what happens, even when I don't feel it. I have a God who never changes. Who loves me when I don't love me (or Him). Who never breaks our relationship, leaves when I return, says goodbye or is a stranger to my life. Life is changing, I am changing. It's a struggle, but I have a promise to hold on to.
Hebrews 13:8 - "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."
Friday, September 7, 2012
Project Impact 2012
Project Impact 2012 just happened and what a blessing it was. I was more involved with it this year than any year before. Jayme did such a wonderful job leading out and it was a great success.
As I saw news cameras and heard about people going to radio stations to interview it made me ask myself a question: "What would I tell someone Project Impact was about and what does it mean to me?" So I searched and I found that Project Impact meant this:
1. Loving - The number one most important thing in life and what Jesus has called us to do. Loving others. Although I may not have directly worked with anyone one-on-one I know that I helped love someone that day, by just doing the simple things like cleaning and smiling.
2. Giving - Giving back to the community that have I grown up in and love so much. Giving to organizations and people who make a much bigger difference in people's lives then I ever feel like I could.
3. Service - A day time to step away from my selfishness and to serve those who really needed me. Like Christ who came to Earth to serve people, I was blessed by being able to reflect Him.
As I saw news cameras and heard about people going to radio stations to interview it made me ask myself a question: "What would I tell someone Project Impact was about and what does it mean to me?" So I searched and I found that Project Impact meant this:
1. Loving - The number one most important thing in life and what Jesus has called us to do. Loving others. Although I may not have directly worked with anyone one-on-one I know that I helped love someone that day, by just doing the simple things like cleaning and smiling.
2. Giving - Giving back to the community that have I grown up in and love so much. Giving to organizations and people who make a much bigger difference in people's lives then I ever feel like I could.
3. Service - A day time to step away from my selfishness and to serve those who really needed me. Like Christ who came to Earth to serve people, I was blessed by being able to reflect Him.
Galatians 5:13
13 You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
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