My goal as a task force dean has been to have the biggest impact on my girls and students as I possible can, especially in a spiritual sense. Recently I feel like I have failed that goal.
After a basketball game I was walking home and saw one of my girls boyfriends leaving from the direction of the dorm. Thinking nothing of it I walked up to door and as I was opening it she was in the doorway with tears in her eyes and a dozen roses. She immediatly threw them in the trash can and stormed off the other way crying. It's over. Their years worth of a relationship has ended and her is heart and soul are broken. I didn't want to say anything at the moment so I just let her cool off and left my bed room door open so she could stop by if needed. I stayed up late hoping she would show up and she never did.
This brought my mind to where I have failed in creating a relationship with my girls where they don't want to talk to me about the worst of things that are happening in thier lives. Why I wasn't someone she trusted to talk to about it. All I want to do is help people and it hurts when I can't.
Now looking back on this experience I was probably being overdramatic. For all I know, she went straight to bed without talking to anyone. I just hate to see my girls hurting.
Failure is not an option with what I am doing out here this year. I have realized over the years that when God calls you to do something for Him, you can't fail unless you give up. I feel like Satan has filled me with a lot of doubt recently in my job and my ministry to these kids. Prayers please!
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