I am single and it's OKAY!

This is from the perspective of someone who does not take relationships lightly. I believe that hearts are meant to be protected. So as you read this, think serious relationships, not those things that high schoolers throw around like a dodge ball.

I am 23 years old, a senior in college, and single.

Ahhhhhh!? What?! She is single and about to graduate? Poor thing, she'll never get married!
If these are the thoughts that went through your head then NEWS FLASH being single is okay. And don't feel bad it has gone through other people's heads as well.

I have found that once you reach my age or my point of college people start to freak out, either you yourself or everyone else for you, if you aren't dating someone, engaged, or married. The pressures to be in a relationship come from everywhere, family, friends, strangers who know your grandma and think they can match make for you, and the media. But I am here to say that the last few years of singleness have made me a better person and have been exactly what I needed.

Let's just start off with me admitting a thing or two... or three. First, I am selfish. Second, relationships scare me. Third, I have a better Love then this world can offer me.

You may be asking yourself, "Did she just say that she was selfish? What a terrible person. We should always be thinking about others, what a horrible thing, to be selfish." Well it maybe, but at least I am honest. I will say I feel that I am less selfish then my early years in college but it is still there. For a person to invest time, emotions, and love into someone is a big thing and should not be taken lightly. You have to stop always thinking about your needs and start thinking about theirs and this can be a hard task. I think that it is human nature to think about yourself first, protect yourself, fight for yourself, love yourself. Not saying that these things in certain amounts aren't okay, but we, me included, have too much of it.

Now you may be asking yourself, "What is there to be scared of in relationships? Really, this seems ridiculous." Well, relationships are terrifying because you never know how bad you will end up hurt. It's not about if you will get hurt, it's about how bad. Every relationship has it's ups and downs and take work and it scares me think that I may invest my time, emotions, and love into someone who will abuse them and end up hurting me. Although when picking the right person the ups will out way the downs. Hearts are not to be toyed with and relationships are a serious thing. Even though you may not believe that from looking at the divorce rate all around us.

Your last thought may now be something like this, "A better Love? Capital L... here goes that Jesus talk again..." or "Amen, sista, preach it! Jesus is the only love you need" Yes, I am about to talk about Jesus and yes He is the only love you need, but there is so much more that God has created us for... God has created us for relationships, relationships with Him and others. Most importantly is having a relationship with Him and in this time of singleness God and I have a lot to work on and try to figure out. I am confident that in His timing everything will work together for my good, because I love Him and that is a promise He makes me (Romans 8:28). If that means finding a guy or being single, it is in God's hands.

So please people, stop asking your grandma if she knows a nice man who will date me. Know that for me at this time being single is a blessing and I have full confidence in God's plan even if I don't always understand it. When you have that friend that is graduating or graduated only help if they want it, they maybe perfectly content where they are.
Below you will find a song that is a constant prayer in my life for God to be my everything. Listen and soak in the words. I hope it is your prayer as well.

Joys of January

This January is going to be such a huge spirit booster in my life. I have friends whom I have not seen in months or even years coming to visit. My camp director, Wendy, comes at the end of the month, Jamison comes on Monday, and Allison is back on Sunday.
Today Tyler got in. It has been a year and half since we have seen each other and communication is not our strong point. He is one of my best friends and someone I know I can tell everything to and he will not think any differently of me and also keep it to himself.
I have needed this. My trust issues have become more apparent to me then ever before. Things bother me and I just sweep them under the rug by putting a smile on my face and sugar coating it or by ignoring the situation all together. Even when I feel like I am drowning in something, I often think that it is easier or better to sink then swim.
I am so thankful that God knows whom we need in our lives when. What a great reminder of how He cares about us and uses other to reflect Him. And this is exactly who I needed at this moment.