How Can I Be So Forgetful?

Just like the Israelites I can be so forgetful of what God has done in my life. A couple months ago I was reading through Exodus and I marked multiple places in my Bible where I couldn't understand how the Israelites could be so forgetful to what God had done for them coming out of Egypt. They saw the mighty hand of God working right in front of them in Egypt, were provided with food and water, and had a pillar of light guiding them. I felt that there was no way they could keep complaining and forgetting that God WILL pull them through, He ALWAYS does.

I felt that way until a couple weeks ago, then I understood. I understood the frustration and confusion. As I wrote in my previous blog, the one about God pulling me out of my comfort zone, I had forgotten what God had done in the past for me in the same situation I just dealt with.

When I was trying to decide what college to go to in 2008 I made a pact with God. (I often make pacts with God... I think it is just an easier way for me to see what He wants for me in my life) Anyway, I was stuck between where I was going to go: Dana College and take my volleyball scholarship or Union College. I told God that if I got hired at the camp that I had applied for months before then it would be His sign to me that I am supposed to go to Union. If not, I would go to Dana and play volleyball. The Dana volleyball coach told me she was calling me on a certain day so that was when I had to have my mind made up. Well, that day came around and I figured that I was going to end up at Dana, because I hadn't heard anything from the camp. Little did I know God had much bigger and different plans for my life. I got a call just THREE HOURS before the Dana coach called me and I got a job at camp. Boom, there was my answer so I ended up at Union. (And love every min of it!)

Back to my previous blog about comfort zones... I had three camp job offers. One I turned down right away but then was stuck between a job at ICC or MiVoden. Time passed and I got the idea that the job at MiVoden was no longer available so I told God that if I got the Girl's Director position at ICC it was my sign to work at camp otherwise I was going to be doing something else with my summer. I called, and the position had just been filled the week before. My heart broke. I was frustrated. I was confused. I love camp so much but it just meant God had other plans even if I didn't completely understand them at the moment.

I left for a week long mission trip and when I returned I had voice message and text from ICC telling me they had a job for me. I took it as God showing me I really needed to work at camp so I was fully prepared to call them the next day and accept the job. I was so excited, until the next morning.
I woke up to facebook message from my former camp director/new director at MiVoden's husband saying I needed to email her ASAP because she had a job for me. I contacted her and she told me this: "I will get right to the point since both of us r on mission trips. I asked Ed to FB u this morning and have u email me. I didn't bring any camp business with me. When I woke up this morning God impressed me to contact u. I did save a job for u. Was just going to contact u when I got back, but God said, no do it now." That's when I knew that God was calling me to camp, but which one?

After much prayer and talking it over with many people I felt I needed to take the job at MiVoden, so that is where I will be this summer. Working at camp, like I didn't think I was... God has a way of teaching me patience and trust that I tend to forget about. I love the way He works everything out for me when I ask Him. The words of Matthew 7:8 have become so real to me through these experiences. Now I just need to learn to remember, hold on to that promise, and wait patiently for God to answer.

I found these words on Pinterest and wrote them on my mirror to help me remember:
Trust in His timing
Rely on His promises
Wait for His answers
Believe in His miracles
Rejoice in His goodness
Relax in His presence

Comfort Zone?

I feel like I gave up one of the constants in my life, a big comfort zone for me. I have a deep passion for summer camp and the way God works though kids lives there and this summer I have turned down the opportunity to work at three different camps. It hurt so bad, but I made a deal with God saying that if I didn't get hired at one place then it was my sign that I wasn't supposed to work at camp. Well you can already see how that phone call went.

I received a phone call on Thursday that asked me if I would be willing to consider the job of being one of the main spiritual leaders on campus at Union next year. It terrified me, but the more I talked to people about it, the more I prayed about it the more I felt that maybe it was something I could handle. Even the talk that the week of prayer pastor had made me believe that that is what God had in store for me. The next afternoon I received a text saying that they had selected the person that was "running against me". I hadn't even had 24 hours to mill it over and it was taken from me. I was excited to do something way out of my comfort zone and find a new way to connect with my classmates.

Moving to California, away from my family and friends wasn't something I had in mind that I would ever be doing. But after turning down God's call once, I couldn't let it happen twice. I am now almost done with my school year in California, I can't believe I was so terrified to leave my comfort zone and move here. God has been more that God in every way.

The reason I write this is because after that phone call and after turning down summer camp I was devastated. I felt more lost then I had been in a long time. I was and still am so confused about what God is doing in my life this summer and next school year. I know I shouldn't worry about tomorrow, but it's my natural human state.
Well I brought this up to a friend and she told me that is God pulling me out of my comfort zone. When I heard this I burned with anger. I felt that it was a cop out answer, even though I knew that that is what she felt in her heart was going on. I don't know if I believe that. I know that the position at Union would have been nowhere near in my comfort zone. I like to think that there is so much more behind it then just God testing me and pulling me out of my comfort zone, but that always seems to be the answer I receive. Maybe I am just a little frustrated and don't understand God right now.