It has been a struggle. It hurts.
I can't make my family proud.
I have made decisions in my life based on what I believe is best for me. Things like not to drink, where to go to school, and where and when to worship God. The deeper I get into these the more I find that my family does not support me.
I turned 21. The "normal" college thing to do would to be to go out to the bars and do one of two things: Buy a couple drinks and socialize with friends or get completely wasted, puke every where, and wake up with a massive headache. Will I see no point in either of these, in face I believe all alcohol does is makes you fat and wastes your money so why buy it? My family is and has been fully aware of me not wanting to drink, but every time the opportunity arises they try to pressure me into drinking. My mom even pretty much told me that I was weird because I didn't want to. My sister tries to pressure me into it almost every time we are together. Why can they not just see that I have made a decision to step out of the norm and be proud of it?
Then the worst thing happened. They slammed my beliefs about God, the fact that I go to an Adventist church and associate myself with Adventists. (My parents don't go to church or anything like that, in fact I couldn't really tell you of a time that they ever sat down and even talked to me about God.) I couldn't believe it. They even said, Adventism is made up of lies. I was so saddened by this, all I did was go to my room and cry. I know that they have had issues with the church and some people in it but to make a statement like that. I have taken a stand in my belifes, why is that not something to be looked up to?
Where do you turn when the place you have found support in life mocks your your values and beliefs?
Then I am reminded of a Bible verse, "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." 1 Peter 5:10
We all suffer in many ways and right now this is what I am dealing with, but this verse reminds me of God's pride in me and his never ending love. I will never find full accptance, unconditional love, or never ending strength on this earth, but when I bring it to God, He will always be there to pick me up, brush me off, and tell me he is proud of me.
