This Is So Beautiful

Just Some Thinkin...

Our past mistakes can be easily forgotten when you find hope in something new.
It's like a cloudless, starry night. Perfectly Beautiful.
It makes things seem so indestructible and never ending. As long as those stars shine you have hope.
There will always be cloudy night, but the next time the stars shine through it's a breath of fresh air. You can relax and take in everything around you, in all its elegance.
Hope is a beautiful thing.

Love Is Something Lived Through: Death

Lord, the one you love is... DYING!
This has been a prayer I have prayed a lot these last few weeks.

A few weeks ago in church, Dr. Smith preached a sermon about prayer. He talked about Lazarus and how Lazarus was very sick (John 11:1). Lazarus' friends came to be with him as he was sick to the point of dying. They saw how sick he was and cried out to the Lord saying, "Lord, the one you love is sick." (1:3). When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it." (1:4)

To make this story short, Jesus comes to Lazarus, but already finds that he has been dead and in the tomb for 4 days. This is the conversation between Martha and Him:

21 "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
23 Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
24 Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
25 Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"
27 "Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."
And by the end of the story Lazarus is raised from the dead!

My grandpa is dying. It's probably the hardest thing I have had to deal with. My grandpa made me who I am. Him and my grandma brought me to church when I was young, sent me to private school to learn to love Jesus more. Just about every good thing about me was from them. I didn't do certian things because I knew it would make grandpa cry. Not out of disappointment or anger, but because he loved me so much and did not want me to do anything to harm my future.
My grandpa is a very soft hearted man. As he got older it didn't take much to make him cry and he wasn't ashamed to show it. He is the strongest, most caring, loving, and selfless person I know. He is the perfect man, well as perfect as a human can be.
Even in these last few weeks, he still made jokes from what little he could say.

Now accepting this has not been easy for me. I love my grandpa so much, like I said, he pretty much made me who I am. I fight with God over this many nights; asking Him to heal him, easy his pain, or take him home, just do something! Don't leave him here how he is.
Then I remembered Lazarus' story. So I cried out to God and still do how Martha and Mary cried out to Him, just hoping for something more than the pain he is now. I am not saying I expect God to heal him and make him completely well in the snap of a finger. I know He has the power to, but my grandpa has lived an amzing life and one that has shown me and others God in everyway. If it's time for him to go, it's time for him to go. At least he won't have to be in pain or on pain meds anymore and someday I will see him again. It's a promise Jesus makes multiple times to us and I couldn't be more thankful for it!

I want to be like him, I want to make him proud.

Love Is Something Lived Through: The Bible

I have been asked by many friends where "Love Is Something Lived" came from. Well here is your answer.
I received a Bible from a really good friend of mine before he moved away (Mic). I was flipping through it one night just to read everything he had written in it. Then I saw it in the margins: Love is something lived, and ever since it has just stuck with me.
God has called us to love. Love Him and love others. It is the greatest commandments that he gives us. Matthew 22:37-39
Jesus replied:'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'
Jesus didn't always just tell people He loved them, in fact what we hear most about is Jesus SHOWING His love to His people. By performing miracles and dieing on the cross, Jesus showed how deep his love runs for us.
God calls us to get out and live so while we live, we should live with love abounding from us. People can see when you are a loving person, it just radiates off of you, but to not put all that love to use makes it worthless in my eyes.
Reach out and touch someones life with a little bit of love. It won't only change their life, but yours as well.

Love Is Something Lived Through: Belonging

Have you ever had that feeling that you just KNEW you belonged somewhere? That no matter where you go your heart will always lead you back to that place and all the things that happened there?
I was thinking about this one day leaving my classes at Union College. It was a crisp Nebraska afternoon with the snow starting to melt on the ground. The wind slightly blew my hair out of my face and I noticed once again the beauty of the campus. For some reason, this time it really hit me hard. I realized that Union is truly where I belong.

I found where I belong and this is my story.

Picking Union was not easy, in fact I never thought I would end up there. I was debating between SCC and taking my volleyball scholarship to Dana College. Apparently Rich Young doesn't like to let too many students over look Union as their college so he bribed me with a job. "If you come to Union Courtney, you can work for me." It wasn't that I didn't want to go to Union, it was just very expensive and I never thought I could afford it. Knowing I could have an on campus job meant financial help, so I started looking into it. Talking to my parents about it, they weren't very excited. They both seemed to want me to take my volleyball scholarship, but when my mom realized that I was serious about looking into Union she did her research. The scholarship I was receiving at Union would almost match Dana. Now I was torn. My parents were warming up to the idea, and made sure I knew that where I went to college was my choice since I was paying for it anyway.
I had recently applied at summer camp and that meant even more money towards Union if I was hired. I still felt that volleyball scholarship pressuring me though. The Dana volleyball coach was so nice and the girls really made me feel welcome, definitely not making the decision any easier. After talking back and forth with the coach she set a deadline in which I needed to make my decision to take it or leave it.
The date that she had chosen just so happened to be the day of my senior pictures. Having not heard back from the summer camp I had applied to I told God that that would be my sign. If I got hired at summer camp then I knew He wanted me to be at Union, if not, then Dana volleyball would consume my future.
I waited. Waiting is not always an easy thing for me. I mean I can't even put a meal in the microwave without walking back to find that I still have to wait two minutes for my food! But I waited anyway, because I didn't know what else to do.
The day of my senior pictures rolled around and I still had not heard from the camp. I didn't have time to even think about it that day, because, as always, I was running late.
When my mom pulled in the drive way the phone started ringing but I didn't have time to answer, I still wasn't ready. Instead of sitting outside and honking her horn my mom came inside and told me to answer the phone. She said it was the camp I had been waiting to hear from. I ran over and picked it up and by the time I hung up I was working at summer camp. Not even thinking about what that meant I ran out the door and had my senior pictures taken. In less than four hours I got a call from the Dana volleyball coach and then it hit me. I wasn't taking my scholarship and God wanted me at Union.
It's not everyday that someone can say that they have found a place that they feel they simply just belong and I know I am so blessed to be able to say that I have found that place. The relationships, experiences, and good times I have had are something that I can never fully explain and definitely never replace.
So to everyone who has helped form my years at Union, here is a big thanks!

I guess this is how blogging goes...

My first blog, this is the start of something oh-so exciting!
Let's just start off with my favorite song :) Enjoy




Happy Sabbath!